I work with a complete MORON!!

Okay I thought I was the biggest moron in history, but luckily I've come to the conclusion I am not. Coz you all know I was loosing sleep over this.

There is a person I work with who
A) I can't stand.
B) Is a complete moron.
C) Has no social graces to speak of.
D) Thinks I am highly attracted to him (pleck!).

I see this person when I walk in and I cringe. I know I am going to get the barrage of,

"Hey, how are you?"
"Are you doing ok?"
"What's up?"

I don't mind when someone greets me at work. I always walk in, am friendly and say hello to everyone I pass. However, this person (we'll just use the initial B), B will ask 10 times at least the same three questions I mentioned above. It's not just me B asks, he asks EVERYONE. I mean it's nice to chat, but after the 7th or 8th time, I want stab him in the eye with a fork.

He is a walking nightmare. When I say B has no social graces, I am being polite. B wouldn't know social anything if it hit him square on his ass. He's rude, barges through people, which is not easy when you're carrying four plates of hot food or a tray full of eight full drinks. He takes your meals, your condiments you've prepared, even the trays you've put down to put drinks on. He's like a hurricane that runs through the restaurant. Give B more than three tables and he's running around saying, "We're getting slammed! Fuck, what are we going to do?? I need four Pepsi’s, a starter salad!!!!!" It's hysterical to watch. I am like, "Get a fucking tray, put four Pepsi’s on it, put the starter salad on it, which you don't even have to make and bring it out to the table....greet the next table."

B is pure entertainment on slow nights so perhaps I shouldn't complain. The rest of us are bored, doing the extra work we have before we leave, handling our tables, (maybe 4 of them) He's running around like his ass in on fire, talking to himself mumbling, "B, don’t' cry, you can do this, DON"T CRY"

He thinks I have the hot's for him. Personally I find the neighbours’ dog more attractive and the thought of that makes me throw up a bit in my mouth. He's made comments directly to me and I've laughed directly in his face. He's said, "You and I are going to get it on” I told him to not hold his breath. His response you ask?

"Come on, you know there's a sexual tension between us”

I stop, literally what I am doing. I turn to him. My eyebrows are lifted; my face is cold and stony. "What the fuck did you just say to me? There is nothing between us but this bar you asshole. How would you like it if I told my husband or your wife what you just said to me? My husband would come down here and kick the living shit out of you!! Actually no. He would get what's left over after I smack you around if you EVER speak to me like that again."

Now one would think he would have gotten the message loud and clear, but no this man's level of fucktardery (thanks Steph for the word) is truly astonishing. He said, "Oh you love it and you know it!" I walked directly into the office and reported him to the manager.

So it seems B and his cow of a wife are having problems in their marriage. No big surprise. He "almost cheated on ICQ with an ex-girlfriend" and his wife, we'll just call her C for short found the conversations. So of course now she doesn't trust him. She hasn't given him shag in a year. (not once during her pregnancy or three months after) He was growing a bit tired of the sticky palms to he ventured elsewhere. Now this woman is a cow in the highest proportions. She's a fat chick who hates the skinny ones. (no offense to my wonderful voluptuous girlfriends who love themselves and are sexy no matter what) Unfortunately she gives the bad name. Anyhow, she's a spoilt rotten, fucking bitch who thinks the whole world should stop because she's entered the room.

So they're on a "trial separation” They’re in couples counseling and individual therapy. They want to work on the issues they have and reconcile. Personally I think that she's a spoilt rotten conniving cow and he's a moronic social retard - you would think they'd be a perfect match. I have to give them kudos for trying to work things out.

Well one would think.

The other night B works his shift, entertaining us in his usual manner. Then he comes back a short while after his shift. He's standing at the podium with this female, who's not his wife. So the Manager G seats them, as he's walking by me and another server he says, "Hey, I am back! We're gonna eat!" He's practically yelling this out. I couldn't even look at him; he was making such a buffoon of himself. The other server responds, "Yes I see that" The other server was a male, so perhaps B was trying to make himself look good, I don't know.

G walks over after seating them and said to us, "Good going B, you and your wife are trying to work things out, so bring the chick your cheating with to your place of employment....fucking idiot! Of all of the places you could go” The other server and I were dying laughing. Other server said, "I guess he wanted the discount for his hot date!"

Tell me, really, who does this? Bring your date to your place of employment?? Yes he and the wife aren't living under the same roof, but they are aiming to work their marriage out. We ALL know this because B tells us EVERY shift how the couples counseling is going...step-by-agonizing-step. Apparently they've reached some great steps and are working hard. Then the fuck tard brings a DATE into the restaurant.

Is this just me who thinks this man is a complete fuck job???

Advice needed!!

I have spent the last two days in my PJ's laying around the house. I had the two days off. I read a book that I received for Christmas, Donald Trump's "How to Think Big and Kick Ass" It's an awesome book, the man is a genius and I strongly recommend you purchase it. You can get it Indigo or Barnes and Noble, go order it now....I'll wait.

Now that you've done that you can settle down and read it once you've finished my post.

This is my year to think big and kick ass. I know I can do this and frankly it's about time. I say this every year. I say it in January, I convince myself through February that I am still going to do this. March I say, "Well I am waiting for the spring. Then I say well, "The summer is the best time" Then I say, "Well the kids are home for the summer, so I'll start in September when they go back to school" And then I just get down on myself by the fall because I haven't done a damn thing all year. Of course then there's Christmas and it's too busy then!

I've formulated a plan and started an online business. I would simply quit my job at the restaurant so I have to work it, but I do need some form of an income.

So what say you? Should I just jump in with both feet, quit the job and do the business full force? Or play it safe, and do the job until the online picks up?

Note: My hubby would shit a brick if I simply quit my job. He is a "safe" type guy. He likes knowing a paycheque is coming every two weeks and how much it is. The bills are this much, they come at this time of the month, he mails the cheques out (yes he still acutally mails out cheques with a stamp and everything). He is not a risk taker. He could never be a sales person who works strickly on commission, although he would be a great one.

I am a risk taker and can sell ice to an eskimo.

?????

Welcome, welcome

Please make yourselves comfortable.

It's a New Year so I decided to make a new blog. I thought the name was very fitting in a cheeky way.

I was at work the other day and I said to another co-worker, "Look I really don't mean to be a bitch, it just happens naturally....so if you could just get this stuff done I wouldn't have to do what comes naturally to me and you wouldn't have to listen to me bitch because honey, it only gets worse from here” He was laughing his ass off and did what I needed.

Later on I was thinking about my other blog and realised why I don't post. I always think, "Well I have nothing to post about" I will sit at the computer staring at the blank screen. I'll check my bank account, research something, work on something else and then come back to it....nothing. I realised over the last few weeks that I have a lot to say about everyday things that happen, whether it be from work, or at the grocery store, where ever. I can say it here anyway I want. I am funny when I don't have to worry about holding back. Not that I usually care mind you but there are times when tact has to be used.

Like today for instance, I had a particular customer whom I wanted to shove an entire entree up her ass. That would not be nice, now would it? Considering she was older than God and as deaf as door knob. This didn't however stop her from having the biggest bitchfest the planet has seen in a long while. Personally I thought perhaps she should have died about 20 years ago, but then that is just one woman's opinion.

Now you may think I am cruel because she was an elderly lady but personally I don't give a shit. This woman forgot she asked for the breast portion of the chicken (which is more) she forgot she asked for a baked potato, I believe at one point she forgot where she was. Being the soft spoken girl that I am, I was able to call her every name under the sun and she didn't hear me. Lucky that eh?

Needless to say, she tipped me a quarter, which I gave back to her, telling her she gave me too much for the bill.....she believed me. She probably forgot she even paid the fucking bill *rolls eyes*

Now see how tactfully I handled that situation?? Oh no, you don't see? Well actually her companion read "babysitter" yelled everything into her ear and when she complained about something babysitter would yell to her, "Yes you order the baked potato, yes you wanted water...yes you wanted whatever" I just looked at the babysitter like, "she's yours, well aren’t you lucky??"

Just remember people always be nice to the people who are serving you your dinner/lunch/breakfast. It's foolish to be condescending to us, we have the ability to spit in your food and you would never be the wiser!!

Happy dining!!